Saturday, July 01, 2006

For the record, I know for a fact he, the one it is really intended for will not read this, I actually believe he doesn't even recall that I started this for him so long ago. But - I am really struggling with "us" right now.
I hear him when he tells me how much he misses me, but to me all I hear is the teacher from Charlie Brown - WA WA WA waa. He says I miss you so much, I can't wait to see you. I'll call you soon. Well that was hours ago, I call, no answer.
We are supposedly on this I trust and will tell you everything game plan. We'll I try to long on and look at his facebook photos the other day - lo and behold - somebody changed their password. SO that gets me thinking...What else did he change? Well, every password there is.
If that wasn't enough, I don't feel as though he cares right now. Name 3 things that have happened to me in the past few weeks. That's right you can't...How have I been feeling? Shitty...Which I know bothers you, but I can't help that I'm sick. So maybe when I say I'm sorry, you shouldn't say - I know you are. Maybe you should say - you can't help it; it's okay - I understand you can't move your knees/hands/feet tonight, we'll stay in and watch a movie. Your reaction should not be - I'll go home, see you in 4 frickin' days! And I feel like a bitch after what you have been through this week, but it didn't just start this week. You can't just say I miss you or I'm thinking about you - if you're not. And by the way you are treating me - I can tell you are not.
If I am that psycho gf and you are avoiding me, congrats on such a great job. If you want this relationship to last longer than next week...You'd better buck up and fast b.c. I am about to leave for 3 weeks and I don't think I can take things they way they are overseas with me. I need to be sure of us before I leave. SO...

i'm sending my <3 t0 y0u_______________________
Susan || 1:51 AM